Mom Holds You Down, Dad Teaches You to Fly

Written By: Jeronimus

I’ve noticed this pattern all my life. Mom, the woman in your life, will tend to throw cold water on the plans of a boy or a man to go on adventures and accomplish things.

A lot of moms are happy with their sons in the living room playing video games when they’re forty years old. This is unspeakably tragic.

The fathers role however is to train his sons to go out into the world, have adventures, and accomplish things.

Father makes plans to accomplish things. Mom tries to throw cold water on this. Mom argues for stasis, impassivity, and just doing the minimum to live. Dad instinctively knows that the status quo is inadequate, and we must strive for higher, better, stronger, and more.

If the boy tries to accomplish something and fails, then Mom gets to make her case for staying at home and doing nothing.

Failing at a venture however, is no vice. One must fail many times in order to succeed. Failure is not a precursor for quitting, it is merely a learning experience.

This is why it is so important to teach competence in young men from an early age. The five-year-old should be building things out of blocks, and the seven year old should be snapping together plastic models, and then working with balsa wood models. By about ten years of age a boy is ready to construct electronic circuits, and do woodworking.

Suppose dad dies when the boy is twelve, and Mom wants to keep him home in the living room playing video games for the rest of his life.

If Dad had been training him to be competent in his formative years, he would be far less likely to listen to Mom. When he goes out in the world he will experience some sweet success to display as a trophy, while putting a brave face on any failure.

A father must install multiple weapon systems in his sons from a young age: Fighting, technical ability, trades, athletic prowess, charisma, manly dance moves, and most importantly; emotional self-regulation.

Life is all about tilting the odds as much as possible in your favor. Raising your sons to be highly competent tilts the odds in their favor as much as possible. Remember what the stakes are.

6 thoughts on “Mom Holds You Down, Dad Teaches You to Fly

  • May 1, 2020 at 12:24 AM

    Tfw I can only make girls .

    • May 1, 2020 at 7:18 PM

      Always wanted a daughter. Just had my first son. Seaxwife thinks the next one is going to be a girl, my Ma does too.

  • May 1, 2020 at 7:27 PM

    This is good advice. And a good read. I’ve experienced both sides.

    Ma encouraged me to adventure, but also quit.

    Dad is a carpenter. I’ve worked with wood since I was seven. I turned out alright eventually.

    Funny thing. Ma fear-tripped me into college, got my degree, did a stint in teaching… only for me to end up doing Carpentry anyway. Feels right.

    I’m looking forward to the day when my son can work with me, and my dad. Be a real family business.

  • May 9, 2020 at 12:54 AM

    This is great. Wish it went a little further into why this tends to be so. Mothers are acutely adapted to tend to infants and small children. Small children grow up, mother becomes less relevant to the survival of the child as she had become accustomed to. Pathological tendencies can set in that push the mother to try and reverse or stop the feeling of not being needed as much. This is less prevalent in larger broods. My wife just had our third boy and we plan a few more and I’ve been watching for this “oedipal” complex and so far so good (as long as I keep giving her new babies to fawn over). Mothers nurture, fathers expose. Caution & risk management. One of many reasons it’s so important to choose women wisely and keep bond strong.

  • May 14, 2020 at 11:42 AM

    There’s a Russian children’s humorous vignette that goes:

    Beat up your friends
    Everyday for a half hour
    So that you train to fight strong
    Then when enemies come
    You can defend your friends.

    This applies that much more to male children. It shouldn’t be a cruel beating but constant physical challenging was Judo jiu-jitsu Muy Thai boxing.

    Fathers who force fight training on their sons are hated for a while but the hate has an expiration date.

    The hate expires the first time the boy is challenged and must fight for his dignity and his honor. Suddenly he realizes why is father forces him to train. The hate becomes reverence. It’s an oath of the Horatii moment. I linked the painting below.

  • July 4, 2020 at 10:57 PM

    It’s difficult to find well-informed people in this particular subject, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks


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